[gentle music] [record scratching] - [Jeff] Just don't let anything fall, okay, honey?

- I mean, I've been going to gigs my entire adult life.

Been seeing people I love perform.

It gets to a very different level with these three together.

- One, two, check, check, check.

Secret Monkey Weekend, yay.

- That's good for now.

- I'll have strangers come up to me all the time and say, you must be one proud mama.

And it's like, you just don't even know the half of it.

- Right, we're Secret Monkey Weekend.

We're a family rock trio from Durham.

It's our first time here.

Looking forward to playing for you.

- [Laura] Music was always a part of my life.

There was always music around.

[upbeat music] I was in academia and Matt was pretty much a full-time musician.

He really was a drummer who played and practiced a lot.

And we often lived in an apartment, not conducive for a drummer to be practicing.

And so he was very excited when we moved into this house.

- Definitely remember instruments everywhere.

There still are.

- [Laura] In the front of our house, in the music room, the same place where he had his drums set up, and would play all the time.

- Matt played in Kinks cover band with me.

In fact, he was the one who named the band The Kinksmen, which is sort of a play on The Thamesmen from Spinal Tap.

[all laughing] I just laugh and I think about him when I think about that.

Then we started playing duos together.

He had a suitcase drum kit.

We played a lot of ill-attended shows.

There weren't too many people there.

Except sometimes it would be the family.

- I always thought of you as the Yellow Submarine guy.

So you'd say, do you wanna sing Yellow Submarine with me on stage?

And I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I was like, this is the nice man who plays Yellow Submarine with me.

[upbeat music] - In April of 2012, in the middle of the night, Matt asked me to call an ambulance.

Matt had some pain in his chest area.

And so we went to the emergency room, and they took him in to get a CAT scan.

He was having heart failure.

And while he was having the CAT scan, his heart stopped.

He was only 42 when he died.

Heart disease ran in his family.

[raucous music] I, yeah, I was absolutely devastated.

What am I gonna tell my children?

- [Interviewer] How old were your girls then?

- So, Lila was four, and Ella was nine.

He was a devoted father and he relished that role.

My very first thought as to, as broken and as devastated as I am, I recognized almost immediately that I really needed to be there for them in a very intense way.

Despite our, whatever our normal family life was, it had just fallen apart.

But I was determined to keep two things going.

We read aloud, the three of us.

And that was a very much a bonding experience.

And then that music continues.

I wanted them to have something that they could have, and enjoy, and share with others all of their lives.

Ella's School had a Save Our Arts event where they put together little kids bands and had an event at Motor Co.

So many of the musicians that Matt had been playing with came to see Ella and to support her.

And Jefferson was one of them.

- [Ella] I used to do guitar at school, but the club disbanded.

And so we needed a new guitar teacher.

Mom was like, hey, I know someone who teaches guitar.

- [Jeff] Seriously, really did think I was gonna be a pro baseball player.

Senior year of high school, music took over.

I just went headlong into that.

[guitar strumming] I feel like I have to play every day to keep my chops.

It used to be lyrics, but the older I get I feel like I'm more in tune with the whole song.

The whole thing has to hit me.

I wanna at least keep it exciting somehow.

There's gotta be something in there, whether it's a guitar hook, or a chorus that's a hook.

Then it adds to the song, moves it forward.

[guitar wailing] If makes me happy I feel like it'll make other people happy.

[gentle music] I always remember teaching guitar.

Said, if you can just practice 10 minutes a day.

I think I taught her for about a year and a half.

Lila would come to the lesson and hang out with her mom.

Over time, we'd go get pizza.

♪ All night ♪ We became closer friends ♪ Party every day ♪ - I couldn't help but notice how wonderful Jeff was with the children.

♪ Paddle, paddle a song ♪ ♪ Couldn't even hear a sound ♪ - [Jeff] Something inside Ella said, I wanna learn bass.

- I do remember thinking, that is the coolest looking instrument I've ever seen.

[bass strumming] - [Jeff] I taught her three songs.

And she's been on her way ever since.

Completely just ran with it.

Ella knowing a certain amount of songs, and me on guitar, we would sit and play.

And Lila wanted to join the fun as well.

- [Ella] At first I was like, is Lila gonna do it?

'Cause Lila's a little kid.

Is this gonna work?

- Funny, 'cause at that Save Our Arts event one of the musicians that played with Matt came up and jokingly said to me, oh, what instrument is Lila gonna play?

I just unfiltered said, drums.

I just knew that Lila was a drummer.

[drums tapping] After living with a drummer for 20 years, I just, I sensed it.

- [Lila] Jeff started teaching me a little bit more about drums.

I took some drum lessons.

- [Jeff] Well she picked it right up.

Fearless.

- [Lila] Jeff and I created a little suitcase kit.

I enjoy playing them.

I just think it's really special to have that connection with my dad.

- [Jeff] Both of them just took to this music thing.

You go baby steps.

And then, oh, I can play.

Now I play with others.

- [Ella] You have to kind of take the cues and learn from each other.

- [Jeff] I don't know if we actually decided to call it a band right away.

We were just making music in that room.

- It was kind of more of a slow build, but over time, you were about 12 or 13.

I was starting to be like, yeah, you got it.

- That late?

[raucous music] - [Jeff] My taste definitely had a lot to do with some of the covers we did.

- [Ella] Isn't this the band that Mitch Easter produced, Pavement?

- [Jeff] Yeah.

- [Lila] There's so much music I love and I've been introduced to a lot of music through Jeff just being like, hey, let's play this song.

- [Jeff] Doing something fun, something creative.

[dynamic music] I mean, that taps into another part of your brain.

Maybe it was a way for them to grow and help with that grief.

I could see it with my own eyes.

It's powerful.

It's just magic.

[upbeat music] - [Laura] And so we just became better and better friends, and started going to baseball games together.

Yeah.

- Over time just all of us hanging out it started to feel like a family.

- My dad was from Baltimore.

And during the summer we always went to an O's game, And I was a huge fan.

And then lo and behold I meet this guy and he is a longtime Orioles fan.

♪ 'Cause you're my best friend ♪ ♪ You're my best friend ♪ ♪ And I love you ♪ - [Jeff] I just didn't see it coming.

♪ Oh Laura Jo ♪ ♪ Laura Jo ♪ We enjoyed being with each other and they're my favorite people.

It's just, what could be better?

♪ You're my bestie ♪ ♪ You're my bestie ♪ ♪ Let's get married ♪ ♪ Let's get married ♪ ♪ Laura Jo ♪ ♪ Laura Jo ♪ ♪ Laura Jo ♪ ♪ Laura Jo ♪ Initially thought maybe they should be playing with kids their age, somewhere in that range.

And then Laura said, this is a family band, and that's a pretty special thing.

And I think that maybe we should keep it that way.

Got to the point where we could play parties 'cause we had so many songs.

♪ Half moons and autumn stars ♪ ♪ Half of the time may seem too far ♪ ♪ Half of the sky is in the dark ♪ ♪ No matter where you are ♪ - I think our first show, which was probably around four or five songs only, I was like, whoa, that's a long set.

Because I was like eight or nine at the time.

[upbeat music] [crowd cheering] - Up until the '60s, there was one magazine that was Tiger Beat, and it had the band The Monkees on the cover.

And it was like, win a date with The Monkees.

That contest was called Win a Secret Monkee Weekend.

That's a good band name.

- Yeah.

[raucous music] ♪ Secret Monkey Lila sitting in a tree ♪ ♪ Banging on a tambourine and waving back at me ♪ ♪ She did the monkey ♪ I think it just fits us well.

- [Lila] Yeah, and it's goofy, and it stands out.

But it's not like too goofy that nobody takes us seriously.

♪ Monkey to the right ♪ ♪ Do the secret monkey and hang on tight ♪ ♪ Now do the monkey ♪ - It kind of flows off the tongue.

♪ The secret monkey ♪ [gentle music] - [Jeff] Hauling the gear, there's no way around that really laborious and daunting task.

But the music is always the best part of the day.

- [Laura] I hear the rehearsals, I hear all of that.

And so when I see them perform them live, it's like nothing else.

I feel a lot of pride.

- [Jeff] Sometimes we are playing for the other band.

Even if there's not a big crowd, not only do we play for ourselves, which is really important 'cause we're just trying to have fun.

But we hope that will rub off on whoever's watching.

- [Laura] And that to me was always the point.

For the rest of their lives to be able to play music together is an amazing gift.

♪ How we arrived at this moment defies my comprehension ♪ ♪ You deserve nothing less ♪ ♪ Than the focus of my full attention ♪ It'll evolve, it'll change a lot, but it'll always be at the core of how we came together.

- I gotta be honest, I'm so thankful our neighbors haven't ever complained about us playing.

- That we know of.

- That we know of.

- That we know of.

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪